timeline

  • 2005.  Decide to knock myself up or die trying.  Read too many donor profiles, chart my mother fucking bbt, give up coffee, take pre-natals, look at my CM all the time, the whole 9  yards.  Have several expensive and in retrospect, poorly timed home insems with frozen sperm.  Feel very much the ttc veteran after the first one.  Ha.  Three cycles total that year.
  • 2006.  Some more tries at home with frozen.  So fun!  Fall off the no coffee wagon.  Several times.  Four cycles.
  • 2007.  Move on to a KD.  Deal with lawyers and contracts and shit.  Start seeing an acupuncturist and taking crazy Chinese herbs. Get some bloodwork done at the regular doctor.  Discover I have not near enough progesterone to do anything.  Past two years have been in vain!  Woo!  Start taking prometrium.  By mouth.  Wish repeatedly I’d gone for bloodwork back in aught-six.  KD #1 wigs out, dear friends step into the breech.  Six cycles.
  • 2008.  Off to the RE (i.e. Reproductive Endocrinologist, if you’re lucky enough not to know).  Internal ultrasounds, more bloodwork, a uterine polyp and it’s removal, low dose femara, intra-uterine inseminations and another donor change.  Get pregnant in the fall.  Have a miscarriage.  Bleed a lot.  Something like six cycles – mostly IUIs?  Who the hell knows at this point.
  • 2009. More femara.  More IUIs, some at home insems.  Make the leap to injectables for a cycle in the fall.  Nearly give up about a million times. Seven cycles.
  • 2010.  Decide to write off medical expenses on my taxes.  Decide to go back the the acu and to try IVF.
  • June/July/August (damn, why didn’t I just write “Entire Motherfucking Summer?) 2010.  Full on fresh IVF cycle – new RE, new frozen donor, lots o’ meds and needles, one good looking blast transferred, 10 embryos frozen, lots of low and slow betas, and another miscarriage.
  • Entire Motherfucking Summer (see how I learn from past mistakes?) 2011.  Three, yes, that’s 3, Frozen Embryo Transfer cycles.
  • Fall Sometime (October? I don’t fucking want to go find the receipts that would tell me) 2011. One Frozen Embryo Transfer, or not – both (last two) embryos die during thaw.
  • Fall 2011 (simultaneous with above item). Receive amazingly generous donation of 12 embryos.  Folks are nice, y’all.
  • November 2011.  Frozen Donor Embryo transfer.  Fail.  And the toilet overflows while I’m on bedrest.
  • March through Summer 2012.  Transfer the rest of the donor embryos.  Get pg once (the March one) and have another miscarriage.  Get big expensive auto-immune bloodwork panel done (Thanks, 3rd m/c!  It was free-ish!).  It’s inconclusive, but I take lovenox anyway.  Also throw steroids into the mix for the final cycle, because it’s time to throw caution to the wind.  None of those things make any difference.
  • Fall 2012 – Winter/Spring 2013.  Take a big, long, pretty damn enjoyable break.  Tell somebody I’ve given up.  I might.  Might not.

Whee.


One Comment on “timeline”

  1. Susan says:

    Hi there,

    I found your blog on lesbianfamily.org. Best of luck on your journey to conceive

    I hope you don’t mind me writing to tell you about my book.

    I am coeditor of a new anthology on queer parenting, just released in the United States: And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents and Our Unexpected Families. As we say on our cover copy, it’s “a funny and occasionally heartbreaking collection of personal essays that offers an intimate and unprecedented look at the relative risks and unexpected rewards of queer, do-it-yourself baby-making. While in many cases these are stories of finding (or not) the “right” biological stuff for baby making, they are also stories that call on us to re-conceive of family beyond biology.”

    The book also contains several stories related to infertility, including a graphic novel.

    We’ve been getting great reviews from the likes of Bay Windows (“And Baby Makes More is a thoughtful, funny, and poignant volume about the variety of ways we define families today.”), Mombian (“… the kind of rich explorations of LGBTQ parenting we need more of today”), The Dominion (“The stories in this collection are loud and inspiring examples of courage, creativity and love and queer parenting. … This book succeeds in the most urgent of the game: creating a space for the stories to be heard.”) and the Gay & Lesbian Review (“… diverse, poignant, and sometimes very funny…. surprising, enlightening and mandatory reading for any lesbians or gay men thinking of embarking on adventures in the wild world of parenthood.”)

    I hope the anthology might be of interest to you, and to your extended circles of family and friends. We’d very much appreciate it if you would pass on the word to anyone you think might enjoy the book, which is available online and at many independent and alternative bookstores. You can find more information as well at my blog: http://mamanongrata.com/?page_id=303.

    All the best for a Happy Mother’s Day!
    Susan Goldberg


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