hold

It’s hard to wait, as we often say in my classroom.

Part of the issue, maybe, is that I have no structure to my days now that my stint at summer camp is over. The ttw for this try exists in this limbo state between work and travel and while that seems smart on some levels (rest and relaxation) it seems foolish on others (lack of structure, lack of distractions). Anyway! That’s how it is.

The part that becomes the easiest to obsess over is the timing of the beta. My old and dear RE, in combo with the Richmond RE, always did betas at 14 dpo, or 14 days after retrieval. The cheater RE has scheduled one at 16 dpo, in which “o” means retrieval. Which is sort of ok and sort of not.

I mean, I guess I feel them with wanting an unambiguous number, but if there’s an early miscarriage – sorry, I mean a “chemical pregnancy”, then that’s useful information to have, in my mind.

On the other hand, in this case – i.e. Last Best Hope – who the hell cares about useful information?

The other Issue At Hand (you can tell I’m bored by extra capitals), is that I’ll be doing the aforementioned traveling when it’s 16 dpo. Hell, I’ll be doing the aforementioned traveling when it’s 14 dpo. But there would still be enough time for a quick trip to the lab before I get on the plane.

I’m of two minds about the testing day:

  1. make a fuss so they will write me a slip for a beta 14 dpo because knowing shit sooner is better.
  2. go for the 16 dpo one, even though I’ll be out of town because then I can assume I’m pregnant for two extra days.

Y’all. I have gone back and forth about a million times.

Then factor in whether to order more PIO….. (There is enough to get me a couple days past a 16 dpo beta, but it has to be compounded and then shipped, so one needs to order in advance and I’ll be, well, traveling.)

And do I try to get a progesterone check thrown in there, too? Because I love labs?

Ugh.

There were some fun pseudo-symtoms earlier: cramps (that’s the only one I can actually associate with prior pregnancies, well, that and crying), crazy tired (which could be just my general state), some bloating of sorts (my clothes fit funny at least) and the need to pee all the damn time (decidedly *not* normal for a preschool teacher).

But those all disappeared a couple days ago and were probably just the giant dose of HCG I gave myself before the retrieval.

Now I’ve got nothing but tiredness and being teary over the million novels I’ve been reading.

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