450 + 20 = headache

Also equals crying. Right. Fake hormones do this to me. I’d forgotten.

Since Saturday night (between 6 and 9, though honestly closer to 9), I’ve been shooting up 450 IU of gonal-f and 20 IU of low dose HCH. (Do I need to say low dose when I am putting down the actual dosage? Idk.) The mixy-mixy part is pretty fun: take the bariostatic water and inject it from it’s glass-looking hypodermic needle into the little vial of gonal-f powder and – presto! chango! – its 600 IU of ovary amping liquid! Then get 20 IU of HCG from it’s nice little vial, which you’ve been warming to something above fridge temp in your bra or armpit, as the case may be. Then! Combine those two syringes of medications into one other and slightly larger syringe and then with some fancy needle switching foot work and buy yourself a headache that lasts more than 24 hours! And a lot of trash. What I’d really forgotten is how much medical waste there is in This Journey.

Ok, for real, it’s not so bad. The headache could be something else. I am prone to them.

But the crying. Bah. I went for monitoring today and didn’t see Dr. Hot, which is fine. The other guy is fine. And they got me in and out of there really fast, which was good because I was racing the children to camp. But. But it was really fast. And I didn’t get it together to talk about the headache or to check in at all really. There was a resident, to whom I was introduced, and whose presence was cleared with me, sort of – it was so quick, I’m not sure how it would have gone down if I’d said it wasn’t ok for her to be there.  And the wanding was honestly one of the more comfortable I’ve had. And the Other Doc (this is really the cheater RE, the one who left my old and dear RE at the other hospital to start this private practice) kept the screen tilted so I could see and narrated what he saw and laughed a my (one) joke. But he didn’t count noses, as my old and dear RE used to say when counting follicles. He didn’t look at my lining, which obviously isn’t the issue at this exact moment, but I’d still like to know what it’s doing.  He just said that things looked good. I want details. And the nice IVF nurse was nice and combined my partial vials of gonal-f into one vial so I have an extra day of meds for (sort of free), but she didn’t do my blood draw and the nurse who did wasn’t so nice – not mean, but barely made eye contact. (Y’all, I get it. It’s also my job to make nice to people all day and sometimes it doesn’t happen, and she was perfectly civil and it didn’t hurt… but I just wanted… well, I wanted my old lab people. That’s the long and the short of it. I miss my old lab people.) And it was all so damn fast. Which was great for getting to work, but also, it sucked.

And so I cried a little in the elevator leaving. For all that I was one person inside the huge system of the big public teaching hospital before, I never felt like I was anything other than the only and most important patient of whoever (intake nurse, RE, lab tech, receptionist even) was taking care of me. And here I am at the fancy private clinic and the appointment is all moving so quickly I can’t catch my breath to think if I have any questions. I mean, I’ll be better prepared Thursday, but yuck. I guess I was spoiled. Which is sort of bullshit, because people should be treated like I was treated anytime they go for medical care.

For the record, Dr. Hot has so far always given me her full attention at appointments and I wonder if it would have been different with her? I wonder if part of it was that I dislike the round-robin of doctors model? (Am I using that sports-related term right? Even google can’t tell me.)

Anyway! I have 4 days worth of 450 IU of gonal-f in my system! That’s… maths… 1800 IU. Another wanding on Thursday morning!

Damn that’s a lot of exclamation points.

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3 Comments on “450 + 20 = headache”

  1. bionic says:

    Some days are like that at the baby factory, too, and it sucks. Mostly they are nice, but I do feel wistful when people talk about getting hugs and requests for pictures and so on from their clinics. Anyway, what I meant to say is that you are right, people should treat you the way your other clinic does. But maybe on Thursday you will get a different combination of people and it will all be nicer. Xoxo

  2. AppalachiaK says:

    Oh, man. I’m sorry. You are the queen of southern charm with the perfect edge and you deserve for them to tune into your channel. Here’s hoping they pick it up quick. Also, boo for headaches. I was knocked out with one all day yesterday myself. Probably regular hormones plus hidden corn.

  3. meridith says:

    I’m sorry they rushed you through. Of course they should always be on their best behavior but even more so when they are routinely dealing with patients laden with hormone dizzying drugs. There’s one particular nurse that is incredibly taciturn and she never warmed up to my wife. Me though, we get on famously. Just goes to show…some people have no social grace, who couldn’t like you and my wife?!?


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