and doubt not, the earth that has grown old in sorrow/ shall grow young again in the light of that morrow

Check out this handy list I made, back in the day:

Whoa. I’d sort of forgotten a lot of that.

And whoa, am I ever doing a different protocol this time. Dr. Hot thinks that since I did a lupron cycle last time, why not “mix it up” as a co-worker of mine used to say, and go for antangonist this time? I certainly can’t think of a reason.

So I’ve picked up the meds that I can get at my favorite pharmacy/soda fountain, which not only has delicious sandwiches and limeade, but also the friendliest ever clerk at the pharmacy counter who refers to me as “lady” in that way hip young people do, which makes me feel hip *and* young, ahem. Those meds are :

  • birth control (oh, days of yore when I’d read other blogs and be confused by people taking birth control to get pregnant… such youthful ignorance!)
  • cipro
  • some vaginal “cream” version of antibiotics (haven’t started those yet, but for the record, I am not a fan of such things, just F everyone’s I)
  • valium (for the eventual transfer, although not as many as I used to get from the dear Richmond RE, however the new cheater RE wants me to take three at once? Fun! But none to horde… boo.)

I started the birth control (did you know it comes with these little stickers so you can change the day of the week?! It’s like controlling time! So fun!) and the cipro yesterday and my stomach seems to already be a little unhappy. It is handy to have a friend who is a nurse to text at such times. She suggested probiotics. My pre-school-strengthened immune system has afforded me years of no antibiotics so I was all  “whaaa?” when I struggled to eat more than a few pieces of roasted kale.

The plan, as it stands now is a mock-transfer and baseline u/s and bloodwork on the 25th, start injections on the 29th and then see what happens from there, the general hope being, aside from a live baby, home from the hospital as they say, retrieval sometime the week of the 7th and transfer 3 or 5 days after that. There are a mess of commas up in here. Probably, I don’t need them all.

For the record, the final outlying test – kerotyping (still no idea if that is the correct form or use of that term) – came back normal, so no PGD, which I wasn’t really up for anyway, so yay. I also said no to ICSI, which this lab likes to do with all sperm bank sperm, because it seems, they got burned once and are traumatized. But my “gifted” sperm (that’s for you, LB) seemed to have no trouble fertilizing  a mess of eggs sans ICSI and my personal eggs seemed to have no trouble being fertilized by other sperm bank sperm, so I’m not going to worry myself over that one.

There are plenty of other things to worry about! But, oddly, I find myself rather, um, un-worried. Weird, huh? I just pretty much feel ok – cheerful, even. Not desperate. Sanguine, almost? This isn’t one of those “I’m so blissed out and and relaxed, I’m sure to get knocked up right away!” things, mostly because I’d never use the term “blissed out”. It’s really just this thing I’ve noticed that’s, honestly, a relief. This will work or not work and that’s how it is. My freaking out or “relaxing” won’t make anything more real, so I just feel… ok. Good, mostly. It’s like they’ve added the bonus valium that didn’t come with my prescription to my water. Valium certainly is a fun drug.

So. Onward Christian soldiers! Keep your hands and arms inside the ride! Forward ho, lovers of truth and good*!

*stolen, shamelessly, like the title of this post, and then adulterated.


5 Comments on “and doubt not, the earth that has grown old in sorrow/ shall grow young again in the light of that morrow”

  1. meridith says:

    I’ve always wanted to go to that pharmacy. Being hip makes it even more tempting 😉 The 25th is so close!

  2. LB says:

    Gifting you my good wishes and all my
    best mojo.

  3. T says:

    You know I’m not much for hope these days, but reading your updates makes me feel it again. That’s right, friend. I’m hoping for you. I’m also hoping we’ll be knocked up at the same time because that would be pretty damn fabulous. Sending you love and light and magic. xoxo

  4. Emily says:

    1. You use all the commas you need, my friend! I’ll be sending all the conception mojo I can!
    2. T: You’re striving for knock-upitude? Of course, huge buckets of blessings your way as well.
    Just love.

  5. Chogirl says:

    Invisible Valium Zen onward!

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