i’m in ur survey, skewin ur data

I love a telephone survey.  For real.

So this poor kid has my phone number – the last land line in non-Christendom – pop up on his list of people to call.  God love the child, he didn’t know what he was in for.  His calls for tonight were to ask questions about where people buy food.  Lord.

Highlights from him:  “Can you spell that for me?”  “Do you consider that a food store?”  “I understand.” (When clearly he didn’t but wanted me to shut the fuck up about how low prices aren’t necessarily a good value when it comes to food.)

Highlights from me:  “Nope.”  “They don’t carry that.” “Well, if by ‘selection’ you mean excessive fake choices, then I’d give them a 9.”

And then the “demographic information”…. Heh.  Yes, I am of Hispanic Origin (thanks for asking!).  And my “household income” is the lowest you have on your scale.  And I’m white, which you like to call Caucasian, which is ok with me.  And I’ve moved into the next age bracket, so I am no longer what you might call youthful.

“Thank you and I hope you have a nice evening.”  You, too, kid.  You, too.

9 Comments on “i’m in ur survey, skewin ur data”

  1. heh. this reminds me of when i came home from my first year in college, FINALLY old enough to get paid to do product surveys at the mall, and a nice, older southern (obvi) lady asked me to do one about some ghastly women’s shaving gel.

    this was spring break of my first year at smith college. i had just come out. suffice it to say i was not their target market.

    “no, i don’t.”

    “no, not at all.”

    “no, none of those places”

    “i obviously wouldn’t buy any of them.”

    got my $5, anyway, though!

  2. Tricia says:

    Ooooh–I want him to call me! That sounds fun. Thanks for doing your part to skew the results in unexpected directions.

  3. calliope says:

    it’s weird, but I am 99.8% thrilled to be turning 35 later this year. but the .2% that isn’t thrilled is the part that is already cringing in mourning over having to check the next age bracket.

  4. vee says:

    In a similar vein, I so enjoy getting my annual fundraising call from my old Oxford College. I spend AGES answering their chit-chat questions in great detail, droning on about my time at the college, what my alumni did for me and so forth, before explaining sweetly that I’m pretty much broke and won’t be donating or leaving them anything in my will. And they still have to thank me. And meet their target number of calls per hour, I’d imagine.

  5. theclitremedy says:

    You are so incredibly nice. I also have one of the last landlines in the Southern Hemisphere, but anyone unlucky enough to actually get me on the other end gets highlights such as, “I don’t take unsolicited phone calls” or “Sorry not interested” or “do you know what, this line’s really bad. Call me back on my mobile.” Bwahahaha.

    Yay blogging!

  6. littlebabushka says:

    I love when you get the unsolicited calls!

  7. Oh, no! Sorry about that poor kid 😛 he was just doing his job, you know? You should add your phone number to the “do not call” list!

  8. gypsygrrl says:

    you rock, SHG

  9. fat chick says:

    Now I just tell the telemarketing survey people to take me off their call list, but when I was in college I’d lie like crazy.

    I do, however, take salary surveys from professional organizations. And then I lie like a mofo, so that it skews salary data upwards.

    Not that it’s helped me much.

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