at it again

Oh, the holidays.  They sure take it out of a girl, you know?  There’s my excuse for not blogging (aw – remember when I used to blog everyday?*).  Now let’s move on.

It’s CD 10.  Whoa.  High on old Clear Blue.  More CM yesterday than you can shake a stick at.  Crappy skin.  But it’s *CD 10* for fuck’s sake.  I’m going to throw a home insem tomorrow, I hope, because all the signs are lining up.  But who knows what’s really going on in there?  I’ve become very attached to the internal view the wand gives me.  Just how big is that follicle?  Inquiring minds (i.e. mine) want to know.  With any luck the RE will see me very early tomorrow morning so I can chill the fuck out.  Lord.

I was at a delightful wedding yesterday and had an all too brief conversation with a old friend who’s “journeying” through infertility as well.  We had a moment, before we got (pleasantly) overrun by other people about how fucking hard it is.  Misery loves company, yes, and damn it was reassuring to have somebody else nod, her eyes big and honest,  as we said how nobody who hasn’t done really understands just how all consuming it is.  I’ve tried to do other things, I really have, but my infertility and all its hangers-on loom just over my shoulder all the time, tap-tap-tapping away so I won’t forget they are there.   Thank you, the IVP, for not ever leaving me alone with all that shit.

Anyway, other news:  the wedding mentioned above was fab.  Yes, fab.  I’ve got my Feelings about weddings, but this one was fab.  The bride and I had talked not too long ago about how important it was to her to have her community be part of the wedding; that the she knew the support of the people around them was tantamount to the working part of her relationship.  Now, that is one argument I’ll buy in favor of marriage (I’m not talking about any civil or legal issues here – whatever I think about marriage, it shouldn’t be denied anyone).  You need your people around you.  And so there we were, a whole mess of us, taking note that two people we love were telling us they loved us and each other enough to stand up and speak about it.

You’ll remember the bridal shower for this wedding.  Right?  I knew you did.  Good job.  Well, there was no corresponding boy version planned for the groom, and in my mind that is a crime.  That’s right, a crime.  We’ve got precious few rights of passage and I’ll mark the few we’ve got with all my heart.  Funeral? I’m there.  Wedding?  On it.  These are big deals.  And my friend was not going to embark on this next bit of his life without some sort of demarcation involving drinks and talk about sex.

I sent out the all call to get some help with writing a cheat-sheet for him to take to bed with him that First All Important Night and set about making the early guests wash the dishes while I laminated the cheat sheet.  The guest of honor showed up, after some entertaining phone drama, and we all stood around on the porch drinking:  me and the boys and the groom’s sister.  Perfect.  We drifted in and out – it’s been warm here, y’all – and at some point the phone rang and I disappeared for a minute to talk to The New Girl, who’s away for the holidays (yes, foolish of her, I know), and when I came back, the party had taken a turn for the nerdy.  The computer was open and firefox was open, but were they streaming p.orn?  No.  No and no.  Weird and archaic over-dubbed videos from sometime in the 80’s.  *sigh*

Other holiday events have been as you might expect – that is, great.  Company and food and visiting.  Culminating in a rather impromptu visit from the Cutest Family of the Valley (you’ll remember them, I am sure) this evening.  And oh, yes, it was good.  All Shellfish All The Time good.  Seared scallops and oyster stew.  A walk to the coffee shop and a gorgeous sunset.  The baby sleeping on the couch to Sam Cooke through dinner and mismatched napkins.  I’d not call it Holiday Entertaining, because this is how things with the Valley kids usually roll, but I sure would call it a good end to holiday entertaining.

* and on another note, remember when I used to blog well everyday?  Practice.  *snort*  Teh Bane of my existence.


5 Comments on “at it again”

  1. Bleu says:

    Happy Holidays!! Glad they have been good so far. I hope you get in tomorrow to see what’s up.

  2. Calliope says:

    oh! wanding today!
    thinking of you and hoping like a mofo for all good things.

  3. bp says:

    It’s good of you to keep those rights of passage up. We really have so few here and we need to keep them alive. It’s important to mark these changes in our lives. I am so happy they were streaming 80’s videos. It’s totally fitting 🙂

    My thoughts are with you today. Yay for CM and i hope all goes well.

  4. Heidi says:

    I hope that the wanding gave you perfect wonderful news!!!!

  5. Darren says:

    I don’t know what wanding means, but I know you’re a great friend for throwing me a great bachelor’s party when I didn’t otherwise think I’d have the energy for it. Exotic whiskeys, old friends, obscure YouTube viewings. I owe you big.

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