tea with sugar

Or, Some Of My Best

Did you think I’d abandoned you?  Fear not!  Here I am, as cho-girl and I like to say.

I’ve spent the day holed up inside, which was sort of dumb but I’ve never claimed to be other than that, so what’s the harm?  The weather was fab, I think; I should have gone out and done something, e.g. yardwork – bleh, but I didn’t.  I nursed a sore neck and IM-ed with LB and then napped and was woken up by my good friend C knocking at the front door.  We had tea – P.G. Tips, if you must know.

Now, things have been ok, miscarriage-wise.  Really.  Ok meaning not good, but not terrible.   It’s sad.  And it sucks and I think about it every damn day.  And I think I will never cease to be sad about it.  But it’s happened – I can add another notch to my Infertility Belt.  Woo.  But.  My last visit to the RE went very, very well.  It was the All Bleeding Has Stopped, Let’s Get Wanded visit and everything looked good.  Except it looked like I was ready to ovulate again.  Heh.  Way to go, Left Ovary!  You’re the winner!  So assuming all things go smoothly this cycle (and to judge by my CM, they are), I can hop right back up on the old ttc train next cycle.  Sooner, rather than later, which is good.  And that makes the miscarriage all the easier to handle.

However, other things are less than ok – things I’m unwilling to blog about because while I’ll tell you all about my snatch, I like to keep my really dirty laundry and that of others under wraps.  How about some more mixed euphemisms? I know you love them.   All that is to say that the convergence of the miscarriage and the other things was not harmonic.  Manageable, but not fun.

Which bring me to the visit from C, who just dropped by, having fended off my phone calls and emails for the past 36 hours.  And the IMs with LB plus her constant dead on interpretation of shit.  And the phone calls with Z the Ex (ah, lesbians – nothing like having your ex as one of your best friends). And dinner with my donors. And the drinks with the KP at the Diner.  And the flowers and chocolates from Clem.  And the cookies from AdProbs.  And the dinners with the neighbors.  And the purse quilt from Cali, which I will pass on so it can make the rounds of comfort. And the constant coffee with cho-girl.  And the fruit treats from Sara.  And the un-ending stream of emails and cards and phone calls from more people than I can even begin to list.  Amazing.

There was this one particularly bad day a little while ago and by some unhappy accident a full 5 of my closest friend were all busy at the same time.  And still, I had people to call.  People who came over and took charge; who called back and called back again.  And I didn’t even begin to tap into the IVP that day – they were on reserve, though.  How luck am I that I’ve got so many people?  Pretty damn lucky, y’all.  I am pretty damn lucky.

So thanks.  May all of y’all have such a crowd surrounding you.

As an end note, there will be live-blogging tomorrow from the home of Elsie, where there is always food crafting going on.


4 Comments on “tea with sugar”

  1. jay says:

    and we’re pretty damn lucky to have you. good to have an update from you; us non messageboard fans appreciate it (though vee does keep me updated too). anyway, you take care love. xxxx

  2. Calliope says:

    your tapestry of friends is breathtaking. So so so effing thrilled about the sooner rather than later of things.

  3. yup, another sara says:

    I’m sorry that things have been less than great over there. And you are right– you will always be sad about the miscarriage, but the sadness will get smaller and lighter and there will be days when you will forget that you are carrying it around at all. Take it from me, I’ve been there. I’m sending you big love and I TOTALLY owe you an email with snarky details– coming soon (I promise)!

  4. the injector says:

    good to hear from you. be well and as strong as you can be when you can be strong and let yourself fall apart when you need to fall apart . so good to hear that you can start trying again. and even better to hear that your circle of support and friends is so full of love. much love and a big hug from freezing, fucking cold michigan.

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