for all i am worth

Tonight I write for two babies – one who’s made her arrival and one who is to come.

It is with great, great joy I can say that my very dear friends from the Valley (you remember, right – PFFV?) have with them their brand new baby girl Olive. Her mama pushed her out into the world late last night and last I saw them, not 3 hours ago, she was tiny and perfect – with a head full of baby-oily black hair and her mama’s mouth. Her daddy is beside himself – proud like you can’t imagine – and to hear it told, was the best birth partner there could be – rock solid and *present* and in full awe of what he and his wife have made. This baby’s been a long time coming – welcome to the world, baby girl, welcome to the world.

I came home from work this afternoon, anxious to check in with Cali, who’s up North, trying to make herself and another woman into mothers. She got some horrid, horrid news today that looked like it would dash her last best hope. Others have said it better than I ever could, but it has been fucking hard for her – to get to this point and, now, to hear that it might not happen. I won’t get into unfairness, or deserving because I hardly feel those terms have any bearing on ttc, but jesus mother fucking christ, cut this woman a break. She has welcomed me and countless other into the never-ending support of the IVP; she comments with support and kindness and encouragement on everything I, and countless others, put out into the virtual ttc world; when I first dipped my littlest toe into the seemingly vast and tight-knit world of blogging, shy as a beaten puppy, she said, “come on down, my sister, I am here and you are welcome.” She’s run with everyone who’s in this race and god damn, it’s her turn. I won’t tell you to pray for her, that’s not my style, nor will I say to send her “good vibes” because who the fuck knows what those are, but I will say that if you’ve got any extra love or extra hope, and I know you do, y’all, feel it now, because this is one woman who’s felt for me and I want to pass it back a thousand fold.

To you, Cali, I say, as a friend said to me recently, there’s a lot of mothering in you, girl. I’ve felt it myself and I *know* it’s there and your baby will be here soon, ready to take it all in. Hang tight, girl, just hang tight. We’re all here behind you and we know it’s coming.

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